nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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