Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
