I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Found your dick twin last night
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Boobs are out for the taking
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
