mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
