i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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