If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
so much tequila, so little girl.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
