there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
