we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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