I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
