i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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