it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
