I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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