this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
