I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
