im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
