found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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