I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I think my moral compass just broke
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
