That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
