I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
