You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
