I wanna bring you to show and tell
Your mouth is God's brothel.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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