it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
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