oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
