Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm determined to sit on that face.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
