and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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