the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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