We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
