Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
