to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
