Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
