her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
