New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
