Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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