Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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