I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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