He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
