Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
