Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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