i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
