yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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