what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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