none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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