It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
