I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
