belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
