just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
why is half of my head shaved?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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