Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
vagina is talking i cant
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
