u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
