I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
