So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I wear drunk well.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
